SpudFiles

Yakima residents were shocked by the news, the first apple-related death in the county since 2001, when an apple silo cracked open and an avalanche of apples pummeled Felix Burroughs.

“Yep, Big Ski’s been trying to run this town for awhile,” said a local resident who asked not to be identified for safety reasons. “They’ve been battling Big Apple for years now.”

According to Baldwin, once she started seeing another physician, Abode started stalking her and leaving her phone messages that varied from quasi-sadistic love poems to vague threats of violence. “He once left me a message in French that I later learned was Napoleon’s first love letter to Josephine. Tell me that I shouldn’t have been concerned,” Baldwin said.

The boy has been arrested for being an accomplice to murder

trae08 wrote:wtf is up with that? so then a company who makes guns should be shutdown and all the employees arrested because a gun they made was used in a murder...

Baldwin then began eating apples for every meal of the day in an attempt to keep Abode away from her. “I had heard that an apple a day will keep the doctor away, and I thought it might be my only hope,” said Baldwin. “For about three weeks, my diet consisted only of apples or apple related foods, and it made me very ill, which ironically caused me to go to the doctor’s office frequently. What bullshit.”
Baldwin stated that she then rethought what the phrase meant. “I rethinked [sic], uh, rethunk [sic] about… no… Rethanked [sic] about it, and, uh… That’s not the word I’m looking for. Shit. Well, uh, I thought it over, and I said to myself, ‘maybe I have to physically do something with the apple instead’. Rethought! That’s it; that’s the word - the one I was looking for earlier.”

THUNDERLORD wrote:Dang negative publicity.
Well the interesting thing to me (and for you statistics guys), That's the first female spudder I've heard of here.

Which would mean 100% of female spudders...

= If you see a female with a spud cannon LOOK OUT!!!