Random Hilarious e-mail I got

[noname]

Ideas for retired persons with nothing to do........






Walmart to Mrs. Gutierrez



Dear Mrs. Gutierrez



Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. C. Gutierrez has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Gutierrez have been compiled and are listed below.





Mr. Wally Brown,

President and CEO

Walmart Complaint Department




Things Mr. C. Gutierrez has done while his spouse is shopping:



1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 1"?Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

[beebs111]

lol i have seen that before, but its still halarious as hell!

[saladtossser]

pure gold! how old was that guy?? wow this is giving me so much ideas...

[jrrdw]

There should be tv show with that guy going around to all different department stores doing them pranks. Film them all first then air them so he don't get reconized.

[Atlantis]

Hehe, NICE! I've done 2,4, and 8. The alarms clocks are fun to screw around with, add the radios with alarms and put the volume to max, gets really loud. Number 4 is really fun to do. I applaud anyone who's ever done the last one.

P.S. You posted it twice.

[)DEMON(]

I hacked into the computers at this place called cash converters, the password was cash, and set a really long password to come up every time the screan savers activated,it took them about a week to fix it.

[Benny]

lol, i needed to go to the toilet after i read num. 1.

[)DEMON(]

Why?

[Benny]

because i was laughing so hard i almost crapped myselft.

[)DEMON(]

I will do stuff like that when I am retired

[rna_duelers]

I have done 4 except with an 400 channel scanner radio thing that my friends had and we locked onto the channel they where using with the scan and said there was a code 2 in the loading docks and we saw about 4 employes run past in about 3 mins we laughed alot n left the store pronto.And about a week ago i went into the australian version of walmart and i poped all the hair gel things everywhere and now i am never allowed back in the store and my girl friend had to bail me out from the cops.....The bail was a whole $13.73 i mean cmon i did like $40 of damage and they asked for $13 of bail,but i am piss pore and didnt have it...i felt pritty low asking my girlfriend aswell but i did pay her back!

[Benny]

ahahahahaha! i havent ever got arrested.... yet.

[frogy]

You crazy Aussies always become poor, then your rich in like another day.... Are you like drug dealers or something?

I did a version of #11. but it was James Bond theme

[)DEMON(]

You will only get sent to jail here if you don't have bribes to pay the police

I have done versions of 6,8 and 13.

[saladtossser]

lol i spread liquid soap all over our schools washroom floor once... when ever i see those timer things, i always turn them to 60 minutes, and number one seems really really fun