Jokes
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robbo@robbo
- Private 3
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:42 am
i herd one simulare to thisok, a guy walks into a gunshop and sais "i need a new scope for my rifle" the gun shop owner said " ok, we just got this new line of scopes in" he hands him a scope and saise to look though the window and see if he can see the gunshop owners house down the road, he looks through the scope and sais "is there ment to be a naked man and woman running around in your bed room" the gunshop owner snatches the scope and looks through, then he startes screwing the scope onto a gun, he hands the man two bullets, and sais " if you can blow the mans wang off and the ladies head off i will give you the scope for free" the man starts lining up and pauses, he looks at the gun shop owner, and sais " what if i can do it in one"
two friend on a golf coures on the 8th hole, the first man notices his friend has a brief case with him,
whts in there he says,
its my tools replies his firend im a hit man,
na says the 1st man, now way,
ok ill show you, as he opens the brief case and puts together a sniper rifle,
wow says the first man, do you mind if i have a hold,
no go on says the no apparent hit man,
so the guy takes the rifle and looks through the sights,
hey i can see my house lol and hey look theres my wife lol she's naked hahaha o wait thats the milkma..... and they........ dirty bitch, says the guy,
how much do you charge? the man says,
£5000 a shot says the hitman,
right says the man, ill have two, i want you to shoot him in the willy and here in the head,
ok says the hit man, as he loads to shots, and takes aim.
the end of the rifle is goin up and down, up and down, up and down, and after a few minutes the man says whats taking so long,
the hitman replies sshhhhh hold on im trying to save you £5000
i dont know if thats a better story but i think its funny as hell lol
that actually happened to me 
in the upcoming presidential election, there will be several candidates who will be running, one of whom is Hillary Clinton. Now WAIT A SECOND!!! I though there was some sort of rule that prevented someone from serving more than two terms in office. Vote Against Hillary: Presidential Elections 08
well, you see it wasn't actually me, it was a friend of mine........ with the rifle and the shooting of the............nevermind
in the upcoming presidential election, there will be several candidates who will be running, one of whom is Hillary Clinton. Now WAIT A SECOND!!! I though there was some sort of rule that prevented someone from serving more than two terms in office. Vote Against Hillary: Presidential Elections 08
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Flying_Salt
- Corporal 3
- Posts: 779
- Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2006 4:57 pm
- Location: Texas
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
Bob: Hey bill, your barn door is open.
Bill: What...barn door....??
Bob: Your animal is escaping now
Bill: I don't have a barn, or an animal
Bob: Close your barn door or everyone's gonna see your animal!!
Bill: ???
Bob: X! Y! Z! (eXamine Your Zipper)
Bill: My animal knows the alphabet?
Bob: ZIP UP YOUR ZIPPER!!
Bill: Okay okay, geez you don't have to yell
Bill: *zip-OW!!*
Bob: I told you your animal was out!
Hmm not too funny in type...My friend made a video of that, but it was deleted from the site.
Bob: Hey bill, your barn door is open.
Bill: What...barn door....??
Bob: Your animal is escaping now
Bill: I don't have a barn, or an animal
Bob: Close your barn door or everyone's gonna see your animal!!
Bill: ???
Bob: X! Y! Z! (eXamine Your Zipper)
Bill: My animal knows the alphabet?
Bob: ZIP UP YOUR ZIPPER!!
Bill: Okay okay, geez you don't have to yell
Bill: *zip-OW!!*
Bob: I told you your animal was out!
Hmm not too funny in type...My friend made a video of that, but it was deleted from the site.
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ProfessorAmadeus
- Sergeant
- Posts: 1046
- Joined: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:39 pm
- Location: texas
Wanna hear a funny joke?.... Womens rights
Why cant women drive?.... Theres no rode between kicthen and the laundry room.
I dont know if these are already on here but who cares if they are.
Why cant women drive?.... Theres no rode between kicthen and the laundry room.
I dont know if these are already on here but who cares if they are.
SOO CUTE!! OMG!! I COULD JUST LICK YOU!!Insomniac wrote:Hey why am I a goose???? Why not somthing a little more awe inspireing, like an eagle or something? LOL
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Flying_Salt
- Corporal 3
- Posts: 779
- Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2006 4:57 pm
- Location: Texas
Well, now that it's been bumped...
THIS IS FACT: Women have been polled and a considerable percent of them ay they vote for the "hotter" president.
THIS IS FACT: Women have been polled and a considerable percent of them ay they vote for the "hotter" president.
sgort87 wrote: I hereby present Flying_Salt with The one and only <a href="http://www.geocities.com/sgort87/ghetto">Ghetto Award!</a>
Heres a good one:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bar tender says to him "Hey, you've got a steering wheel in your pants". The pirate said back in an unpleased manner, "Arrrrrrr, its driven' me nuts"
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood
in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he
saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He
asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter
answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone
on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie
the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have
never moved, indicating that she never
told a lie."
"Incredible", said the man. "And whose clock
is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's
Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abe told only
two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus's office. He's using
it as a ceiling fan."
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bar tender says to him "Hey, you've got a steering wheel in your pants". The pirate said back in an unpleased manner, "Arrrrrrr, its driven' me nuts"
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood
in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he
saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He
asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter
answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone
on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie
the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have
never moved, indicating that she never
told a lie."
"Incredible", said the man. "And whose clock
is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's
Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abe told only
two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus's office. He's using
it as a ceiling fan."
Forever dreaming...